The AVN Awards and the Porn Convention in Las Vegas

Whose idea was it to have a Porn Expo and an awards show honoring today's top porn stars in Las Vegas? As if Vegas isn't filled with enough dibouchery. Hell, on a regular weekend I can only last a couple days there just imagine what would happen if you mixed in porn stars . As soon as I found out about this event I had to witness and experience it. I told my friends and asked one question. Whose coming with me.. Most said "Hell yeah I wanna go" but when it came time people were bailing to where it was just going to be me. I thought damn I might not be going then I asked my roommate, Stina, if she wanted to go. Her and her friend said "A trip to Vegas. Game on." This was a last minute type thing we figured out we were going on Thursday and were leaving the next day. Total Swingers moment. Vegas baby! Vegas! My friend Tom got a ticket on Thursday to fly out. Then after about an hour of driving my friend Ricky calls me up and says "Who knows how to party?" I said "Me." He then asked again and I said "who" He goes I'm in my car right now (930PM) heading to the airport to get on a 1010 flight. He then proceded to tell me that he was only staying for 12 hours because he had to be at another party on Saturday in LA. That's pretty hardcore.

After a 5 hour drive we were finally there and by midnight all 5 of us were headed to Tao. (pretty big club in Vegas) We got hooked up in VIP and some guy invited us to his table so we drank all his alcohol. I'm talking this guy bought about 6 bottles of alcohol. We were all set plus I met this gorgeous girl who was the poster girl for porn however she wasn't in the porn industry. My friends and I found this hard to believe but I kinda didn't care. She was hot.

At 5AM we left Tao and made our way to the bar inside the Venetian Casino where most people were hanging out. Hell, Dave Navarro was right next to me ordering drinks. Standing at the bar I saw this girl who I thought I knew. Then I realized I did kind of know her. I have a bunch of her work on my computer (if you know what I mean) So I sent her over a shot which she ended up giving to some guy. Bummer. Then I saw this porn star we met at the club and I asked her. "Hey do you know Eva Angelina?" She said "Yeah" I go "good because you are going to introduce me to her." We went over and she did just that. I ended up talking to her for 20 minutes. By the way it's 5AM so if you think I have any idea what we talked about you're sadly mistaken.

By this Time Ricky and I were the only two left so we went to eat. As we were sitting down who do I see walk by Eva Angelina. So I did what any guy would do. Jumped over the railing and started talking to her again. This time she gave me her card which was progress.

We finally got to bed around 7AM. The next afternoon I woke up with two texts one being Eva, which I didn't even remember giving her my number but I was proud of drunken self whom found a way to give it to her. Another one was from Presley Maddox whom I saw that night as well. I actually met her a couple years ago in Cancun when she wasn't a porn star. Gotta love when porn stars are texting you.

I woke up at 2PM which is when Stina and her friend got back to the room from partying all night and day. Hey it's Vegas sleeps not required for some people. Tom and I decided to get up and go to the porn convention. To be honest, it's going to be really hard to describe what I witnessed. First off, as soon as we walked in there was a booth where a girl was tied up and a guy whipping her. I'm talking whipping to where I would've been pissed off and killed the guy but this girl seemed to enjoy it. Every where you turned there was sex, sex, and more sex. Porn stars, everywhere signing autographs for people. I only know a couple porn stars by name but these people had professional cameras to take pics and knew everything about them. I walked past this one booth that had a huge line and I actually recognized a girl, Lenny Barbie (I think that's how she spells it). I told Tom I kind of wanted to meet her. She's really hot. The line was insane so I was like forget that. As walked by a girl that was signing with her recognized me and told me to come up onstage with them. This girl proceeded to tell me that she went to a high school where I played in a charity basketball game a couple years ago and that she was one of the peps running after me to get my autograph. I instantly thought so this is what your doing now. The bad ass part was all 5 girls that were at that booth wanted pics with me. Gotta love when porn stars want to take a pic with you especially when they're hot. Lenny actually seemed kind of shy which sucked cause I kind of wanted to see what she was really like.

We walked on and my friend Tom saw a family friend that he's known since 7 signing autographs, Emiliana. Imagine that, a girl you grew up knowing becoming a porn star. While we were talking to her the company she was there with came up to me and asked if I was interested in becoming a porn star. This caught me off guard and I looked at him and asked "are you serious?" The guy said "you could be a star in this business. You can even wear a mask." He gave me his card and said think about it. So if wrestling doesn't work out I might become the next Peter North. HA!!! I was shocked at how many people wanted pictures with me. I mean there's naked chicks everywhere and guys are taking pictures with me. Kind of weird don't ya think.

This place was filled with the wierdest stuff I couldn't even imagine doing or having in my bedroom. Actual size replicas of naked women, replica private areas of women in porn (I kind of want to know how they do the mold), whips, chains, gag balls, ropes, there was even a booth where if you were over 7 inches they'd pay you for pictures of it.

We left around 5 because we had to get ready for the Adult Video News Awards at Mandalay Bay. I ask you this: What do you wear to the porn awards? I had no idea so I just wore one of my suits. We got there about an hour early and I was in Awe because about 100 yards in front of the event were seas of people taking pictures. I couldn't believe my eyes. I didn't realize how big of an event this was. As we walked up I saw the red carpet and for the first time I wanted to walk it. The only problem was they already closed it off.

On our way to the seats a pretty girl in a beautiful purple dress came up to me and said she was a fan and wanted to meet me. I asked her name. She said Flower and she told me she was presenting and was up for a couple awards. I said "oh really congrats. Which one are you up for?" She goes " best anal scene." I looked at Tom and both of our mouths dropped. I've been to the VMA's and MTV Movie Awards and this takes the cake for most memorable moment at an awards show. Little did I know that this was only the beginning. We sat down and the show started and it was awesome. It was exactly like a real awards show complete with a comedian host, little funny skits, musical band, celebrity presenters (Dave Navarro and Gene Simmons), the only difference was everything was XXX rated. My favorite part was when they'd announce the nominees and show clips of their performances and yes they were real X rated clips.

Tom and I really wanted to hear the thank you speeches. We were hoping someone would say thank mom, dad, and god. Or my mom is here tonight supporting me. We didn't get one of those speeches but one girl exceeded our expectations. The porn star that won Best Oral Scene went up there and said "I just like to suck C*ck and I want to thank all the guys that have let me suck their c*cks. It helped me win this award." I almost fell out of my seat with laughter. This was what the AVN's were all about.

Now I always thought adult films are just porn. One movie never stood out more than another maybe a chick was hotter in one but that's about it. Well, boy am I wrong because "Corruption" took home quite a bit of awards. I've never seen this movie but it must be the mother of all porns because every time there was an award it always seemed to have someone up for it. It's on my grocery list.

We went to Sexz productions after party whom produced Corruption so this was supposed to be the big one since Corruption did so well. I had a blast at this party We met up with Eva Angelina and Presley Maddox. I ended up taking pictures with them who knows where they are going to end up. Then Eva lifted up her dress and basically pulled a Britney except she meant for it to happen. Yep everyone got a shot of her hooha. Very nice might I add. Cameras were going off. Very entertaining. That wasn't the only thing I saw. Stuff was going on all over the place. Use your imagination.

I ended up at the Venetian circle bar in the middle of the casino. By this time I remember bits and pieces but one thing that has not left my mind was when Eva said I want to go down on this girl and actually did it in the middle of the casino. It only lasted a couple seconds. The best part was nobody said a word or did a double take. It was like the norm.

All in all the porn convention and the AVN's in Vegas did not disappoint and I might have to go every year.